Kurt Loder Movie Reviews
January 27th, 2011I’ve always enjoyed Kurt Loder movie reviews, but the man in question has done so much more during his amazing career. For example, he was drafted into the Army after dropping out of college, and that’s when his journalistic career began. Since that time, he’s written for Circus, enjoyed a much-celebrated run with Rolling Stone, joined MTV in 1987 as their only legit journalist, and co-authored the Tina Turner autobiography, I, Tina. Now in his 60s, Loder is still going strong.
If you’ve never experienced his writing, be sure to check out these Kurt Loder movie reviews. I’ve included a link for each, so you’re just one click away from the full article.
- Predators – Loder seems to like this latest installment of the Predator franchise okay, calling it “a B movie that knows its job, and does it.” Topher Grace and Walton Goggins are both singled out for their performances. The latter pleases me greatly, as I was a huge fan of his work on The Shield.
- The Expendables – Calling this Sylvester Stallone film “an ’80s action movie,” Loder notes that “Detonations are unending, and the bodies pile up like cords of winter firewood.” But does it work? Loder thinks so, mainly due to the good-natured script and reliance on nostalgia.
- The Girl Who Played with Fire – It sounds like Loder has fallen for Lisbeth Salander like everyone else, as he calls her “a treat to watch.” But he’s not as keen on the directing from Daniel Alfredson, calling it “flat and disjointed.” Still, he recommends that anyone who saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo will want to soldier on with this film.
- The Other Guys – “Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg score a comic bull’s eye,” sez Loder. While he’s not fond of the filmmakers getting up on their soapbox regarding capitalism, he does praise Mark Wahlberg for his latest foray into the comedy genre. He calls it a “goofball summer buddy comedy that actually delivers,” which is probably aimed straight at Kevin Smith’s lousy Cop Out.
- Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World – Loder opens his review by mentioning that this is “the first movie to bring us, among many other things, on-screen battle-scoring, a visit from the Vegan Police, and a really cute kickass girl named Knives.” Director Edgar Wright’s visual style is called “irresistibly endearing,” although I don’t understand why Mary Elizabeth Winstead is referred to as an “Amazon.” While the ending fizzled out for him, Loder does appreciate the fact that it was able to sell uber-wimpy Michael Cera as some kind of action hero.
- Piranha 3D – While he admits that Piranha 3D is strictly by the numbers, he also admits to liking it thanks to the gleeful dedication to showing “gushers of blood, ripped flesh by the kilo, and acres of bare booty and boobs.” The 3D effects are also applauded, especially those where bloodthirsty piranha leap right at the screen. Sadly, there’s no love given for Christopher Lloyd’s over-the-top performance.
- Jonah Hex – Kurt Loder didn’t care much for this DC Comics adaptation, citing the fact that the violence and the satirical dialogue never quite meshed. He notes that John Malkovich–who plays the villain in the film–is in “full cuckoo mode,” but this isn’t enough to keep the Western from becoming “a lumpy soup of western action and supernatural shenanigans, heavily spiced with narrative confusion.” I love it when movie reviewers use the word “shenanigans.”
- The Last Airbender – A mixed review for the latest film from M. Night Shyamalan. While Loder writes that children in the audience seemed amused by the on-screen antics, he also noted that the heavily edited and jumbled story tended to be confusing and lack any real emotional depth.
That concludes our look at some Kurt Loder movie reviews. You can catch the shorter versions by watching MTV and sitting through hours of reality programming, or you can just head to their official website and enjoy Kurt Loder’s opinions in all their uncut glory. You the man, Kurt!
Harry Knowles Movie Reviews
January 25th, 2011If you’ve ever read any Harry Knowles movies reviews, you’re bound to remember the experience…they’re the ones that seem unusually enthusiastic and peppered with curse words and bizarre punctuation. They’ll also drone on at great lengths about personal details that nobody really cares about. But some people must enjoy it, because Ain’t It Cool News (Harry’s website) continues to draw in geeks from around the globe. Then it, that might have something to do with all the insider info that Harry and his crew have fed to them by studio execs eager to get a positive word or two about their project in return.
Still, it’s not too shabby for an obese ginger kid who got his start while confined to a bed. Harry Knowles has popped up on the Forbes Power List, and he’s made appearances on Politically Incorrect and Roger Ebert and The Movies. He’s also made cameos in a number of films, leaving some (including Ebert) to question his ability to remain objective. But Harry doesn’t care; he’s too busy hanging out with guys like Robert Rodriguez and holding his annual Butt-numb-a-thon film festival every December.
And once you’ve checked out the Harry Knowles movie reviews below, be sure to read the multi-part Film Threat expose that was released several years ago. It’s an interesting look at the relationship between Knowles and the studios.
- The Green Hornet – Harry spends a long time talking about his childhood and his father’s love for the original Green Hornet television series, then he finally gets around to gushing about the movie. He calls it “easily the best film of this 2 week old year, that isn’t an Academy chaser.” A reader notes about his review, “Bought and paid for yet again.”
- The Social Network - Harry extols the virtues of the film, saying that “every single character in this movie is a complete person.” Of course, he also got a private screening of the film, so I’m certain he wasn’t biased in the least bit. He ends his review with “it really is that fucking good,” a line that I’m sure has Pauline Kael and Gene Siskel spinning in their graves.
- Megamind- After a few opening lines, there’s a picture of Harry showing off his hairy chest and his Megamind headpiece. Haunting imagery. He goes to praise this films, as well, mentioning that he liked it better than Toy Story 3 (although he considers the latter to be a better film). He also refers to the 3D effects in the film as “pretty spectacular.”
- Tron Legacy- Is there any possibility that a fanboy like Harry isn’t going to flip out over the sequel to the ’80s classic? Not a chance. He mentions that he “lives for films like Tron,” which should give you a pretty good idea of how batshit crazy this effects-fest made dear ‘ol Harry. As for the soundtrack, he writes, “Daft Punk makes this film have a vibe that I think a shit ton of folks will grok.” I don’t know how many people it takes to make a “shit ton,” but I’m guessing a lot.
- True Grit- If you’re looking for one of the most positive Harry Knowles movie reviews of all time, look no further than his critical analysis of the latest film from the Coen brothers. Calling it the best film of 2010 and the second best of the Coen’s careers, Harry heaps an embarrassing amount of praise on the film, dropping in an f-bomb for emphasis every sentence or two.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this brief look at some of the Harry Knowles movie reviews available online. I would’ve included more, but frankly their shitty site design over at Ain’t It Cool News always causes my computer to lock up. Hope you have better luck than I did.
A.O. Scott Movie Reviews
January 13th, 2011A.O. Scott movie reviews are always well-written and even-handed, which are two qualities missing from many online critics these days. One of the film critics for The New York Times since 2000 (along with Manohla Dargis), he’s also made contributions over the years to The New York Review of Books, Slate, and Newsday. Born in 1966, he is currently a resident of Brooklyn along with his spouse and two kids. Starting in September of 2009, Scott joined Michael Phillips as the new hosts of At the Movies, replacing Ben Mankiewicz and Ben Lyons.
And just in case you’re curious, here are his list of best films from 2006 through 2009:
- 2006 – Letters from Iwo Jima
- 2007 – 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
- 2008 – Wall-E
- 2009 – Where the Wild Things Are
As you can see by his selections above, A.O. Scott isn’t afraid to go in a different direction from the rest of the herd.
- The Fighter – While Scott notes that the film “falls just short of overpowering greatness,” he does like it enough to recommend it. He also mentions that the film has a little something for everyone, including “the unaffectedly lovable Amy Adams.”
- The Time That Remains – Dealing with the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians, The Time That Remains draws praise from Scott. “Imagine a heroic poem boiled down to a flurry of witty epigrams, or a martial statue made of origami, and you will have some idea of the improbable way this filmmaker folds big themes into delicate forms.”
- Another Year – “Like Happy-Go-Lucky, though on a somewhat larger scale, Another Year is about the unequal distribution of happiness. Why do some people — like Tom and Gerri, the post-’60s 60-something couple at the center of this episodic story — seem to have an inexhaustible, even superabundant supply, while others seem unable to acquire even the smallest portion?” Scott sums up this UK film in the previous sentence, be he then proceeds to sing its praises.
- Let Me In – If you think this film is just another excuse to have pasty-faced vampires prancing around in the woods, then check out this quote from the A.O. Scott movie review: “The subtext of the relationship is not sexuality, as it is in Twilight or True Blood, but rather the loneliness of children and their often unrecognized reservoirs of rage.” He also labels it “disturbing,” a description I would certainly agree with.
- Restrepo – Scott writes that there is “nothing especially fancy or innovative here,” but he also calls this look at a group of American soldiers stationed in Afghanistan “an impressive, even heroic feat of journalism.” A.O. Scott movie reviews don’t get much more complimentary than this.
- Winter’s Bone- This film has been drawing critical raves all year, and A.O. Scott continues the lovefest. “Something more primal, almost Greek in its archaic power, is at stake in Winter’s Bone, and its visual and emotional starkness do no not feel like simple badges of authenticity.”
- Greenberg- A lot of critics hated this film, but Scott calls it “the funniest and saddest movie Mr. Baumbach has made so far, and also the riskiest.” He also heaps praise on Ben Stiller for playing the lead character “as a wiry, gray-haired ball of raw nerves and well-oiled defense mechanisms.”
If you’ve ever considered becoming a regular reader of A.O. Scott movie reviews, I hope this glimpse will help you make up your mind. While he can be a bit wordy at times, he’s a refreshing change of pace from some of the 14-year-old goofs on the Internet.
Rex Reed Movie Reviews
January 6th, 2011If you’ve read The New York Observer in recent years, then you’ve no doubt encountered some Rex Reed movie reviews. The native Texan (born 1938) also served as the co-host for At the Movies for a time, and he’s never afraid to voice his opinion. Acting is in his blood, as well, as Reed has appeared in Superman, Inchon!, Myra Breckinridge, The Gong Show, and The Critic. And in case you’re wondering about credentials, try the New York Film Critics Circle and the New York Film Critics Online.
When you read Rex Reed movie reviews,you can always expect to get an opinion that’s fresh and honest. Never one to follow the herd, a peek at Reed’s “Worst of” list of 2010 includes such popular films as Inception, Shutter Island, and Winter’s Bone. Many of these films made into onto the “Best of” lists for well-known critics, but Rex Reed was hearing none of that.
He’s also been involved in his fair share of controversy. When Marisa Tomei won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in 1993, Reed claimed that presenter Jack Palance had read the wrong name due to eyesight problems or because he was too “stoned.” Then in 2005, he wrote the following during a review of South Korea’s Oldboy, “What else can you expect from a nation weaned on kimchi, a mixture of raw garlic and cabbage buried underground until it rots, dug up from the grave and then served in earthenware pots sold at the Seoul airport as souvenirs?” That didn’t win him a lot of friends in the Asian community.
But Rex Reed doesn’t give a damn. He keeps right on typing up his reviews, and his loyal fans keep right on reading them. In case you’re interested, I’ve included links below to some of his more recent work. And if you’re looking for something with a bit more girth, be sure to head over to Amazon and pick up one of his books. They include:
- Do You Sleep in the Nude?
- People are Crazy Here
- Valentines & Vitriol
- Personal Effects
- Rex Reed’s Guide to Movies on TV and Video, 1992-1993
Now here are those links to Rex Reed movie reviews that I promised:
- Black Swan- Many critics have praised Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, but Rex Reed isn’t one of them. “This exercise in hysteria is so over the top that you don’t know whether to scream or laugh. Despite an emotionally gripping performance by Natalie Portman, it’s nothing more than a lavishly staged Repulsion in toe shoes.”
- The King’s Speech – Reed is full of praise for this Colin Firth film. He calls it the both “a masterpiece” and “the best film of 2010.” If you’ve been wondering whether or not to see this one, Reed’s review will make a believer out of you.
- Burlesque – “This movie is so bad that it makes you realize how much you miss Showgirls.” When he notes that star Christina Aguiler’a singing sounds like “calling hogs,” you know it’s doomed to receive the lowest rating possible.
- The Fighter- According to Reed, “It’s a boxing comeback movie with every cliché in the book, directed by David O. Russell, a master of pretentious self-indulgence responsible for some of the worst movies ever made (I’m still trying to wipe out toxic memories of a thing calledI Heart Huckabees).” But believe it or not, he goes on to give the film a positive review in spite of that less-than-flattering opening.
- 127 Hours – Reed refers to this Danny Boyle work as “most harrowing film of the year.” He goes on to praise James Franco’s performance and Boyle’s innovative direction. Reed gives this one the highest marks possible.
- Wild Target- This UK film about a hitman who falls for his target didn’t appeal at all to Reed. Besides knocking the film, he also refers to co-star Rupert Grint as “the orange-haired dwarf from the Harry Potter franchise.”
- Inhale – Dealing with the subject of organ tourism (look it up), Inhale manages to draw praise from Reed, especially the performance given by Dermot Mulroney. He lauds the actor for “giving an honest, committed and deeply moving performance of tortured sincerity.”
That concludes our brief look at some Rex Reed movie reviews. For even more on the subject, be sure to visit Reed’s official home at the online version of The New York Observer.
Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
January 6th, 2011If you find that most films fill you with nothing but loathing and contempt, then Mr. Cranky movie reviews will be right up your alley. Created in 1995 by Hans Bjordahl and Jason Katzman, Mr. Cranky puts forth the notion that all movies suck: the only debate is to what degree they suck. Represented by a purple, self-gagging frowny-face, Mr. Cranky rates all films on a six-step scale. The best rating a film can receive is one bomb, and the bomb ratings go all the way up to four. After that, a film gets a “Boomstick” rating (represented by dynamite), and then the dreaded “Kaboom!” (represented by an atomic explosion).
But not all reviews found on the site are so negative. Each year around Halloween, a guest reviewer named Mr. Smiley drops buy to give the good news about Hollywood films. The exact opposite of the Mr. Cranky movie reviews, Mr. Smiley grades with smiley faces all the way up to the ultimate “Prozacerrific!” rating.
In 2008, it appeared as though Mr. Cranky was calling it quits, but fortunately for cynics and curmudgeons, the site is still in operation at Shadowculture’s Mr. Cranky Rates the Movies. You can also catch the reviews over at the Chicago Tribune website, as well as purchasing their book, Shadowculture’s Mr. Cranky Presents: The 100 Crankiest Movie Reviews Ever.
Just in case you’ve never experienced the form of satire known as Mr. Cranky movie reviews, I’ve prepared a selection of his works below. But read with caution, as prolonged exposure could threaten to dislocate your funny bone (yeah, I realize just how lame that sounds, but I’m too lazy to hit the backspace button).
- Spice World – Mr. Cranky sums up this film in just three short words. I won’t repeat them here due to the profanity, but you can click on the link to read more.
- Quantum of Solace - Cranky was less than pleased that the focus of the 22nd James Bond film was on water, and he also complained of the last of solid Bond villains in recent entries. “If you love watching metrosexual guys parade around in expensive clothes through expensive hotels, then this is a three Kleenex movie.”
- Skyline- “Let’s get this right out in the open: Skyline is a sci-fi movie that was filmed entirely within the confines of the directing team’s condo building. That, my friends, is the epitome of lazy filmmaking – when you CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE TO MAKE YOUR MOVIE.” Cranky delivers the dreaded atomic bomb rating to this sci-fi film.
- Unstoppable- “Why do I keep capitalizing UNSTOPPABLE? Because it is the MOUNTAIN DEW of train movies. It is EXTREME. In UNSTOPPABLE there are HELICOPTERS flying inches away from SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVES – ALL THE TIME! Shit goes BOOM! Denzel makes a touching connection with a much younger CAPTAIN KIRK! People talk on WALKIE-TALKIES – ALL THE TIME!” He then goes on to call it a combination of Under Siege 2 and Speed 2…and that’s not meant as a compliment.
- Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Cranky criticizes Kevin Smith for basically remaking Clerks over and over, although he does urge anyone who’s ever wanted to see Jason Mewes’ penis to buy a ticket.
- The Dark Knight – “The entire movie is like a set of ethical stepping stones, except most of them are made of Styrofoam and you sink when you step on them.” Obviously, the moral lessons handed down in this blockbuster film didn’t impress Mr. Cranky too much.
- Max Payne- Another atomic bomb rating, this time for the stylized cop tale starring Marky Mark (minus the Funky Bunch). “Make no mistake. There is a plot with the depth of a baby pool, and it exists solely to drag the audience to the next scene, but that next scene is almost never a shootout or a slaughter. Instead we get another noir or crime cliche that has somehow become more boring than it already was.”
- Goodburger – “The debate which once raged about the relative merits of Citizen Kane vs. Casablanca can now fall silent: As the end of the twentieth century nears, Good Burger has achieved cinematic perfection.” Needless to say, Cranky is being oh-so sarcastic.
- I Am Sam- Another atomic bomb rating, this time for a film about a mentally challenged man (Sean Penn) who fights to keep custody of his daughter with the help of a scrappy lawyer (Michelle Pfeiffer). Cranky hates it, even going so far as to include the line, “Say hello to my colon, you tear-jerking fascists.”
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 – Cranky claims that this was the first film in the series that he’d ever watched. Needless to say, he was more than a little confused and pissed off. “Words like Horcrux, Dumbledore, Lorax, Voldemort and Hepatitis had no meaning to me whatsoever. The characters, too, were unfamiliar to the point where I finally understood what it must be like inside a schizophrenic’s brain.”
For more Mr. Cranky movie reviews, be sure to visit his official site. While you’re there, you can also drop by the forums, review the archives, and purchase t-shirts, bibs, caps, and so much more.
Pauline Kael Movie Reviews
January 2nd, 2011Pauline Kael movie reviews were never mediocre affairs. That’s because the longtime film critic for The New Yorker (1968 to 1991) filled her work with personal insight, emotion, and a depth rarely seen in modern-day critical musings. Considered the most influential movie reviewer of her time, she’s rivaled only by Roger Ebert in both fame and acclaim from their peers. In fact, Ebert paid her a major compliment when he said that Kael “had a more positive influence on the climate for film in America than any other single person over the last three decades.” Owen Gleiberman, the resident critic for Entertainment Weekly, added, “She was like the Elvis or the Beatles of film criticism.”
If you’ve never experience Pauline Kael movie reviews before, here are some interesting facts that you might want to know:
- Prior to working for The New Yorker, Kael wrote film reviews for The New Republic, McCall’s, and City Lights.
- Kael’s first book, I Lost It at the Movies, was an unexpected bestseller back in 1965, selling over 150,000 paperback copies.
- While Kael and McCall’s editor Robert Stein both denied the fact, it’s widely believed that she was fired from the magazine for a scathing review of The Sound of Music.
- She worked for The New Republic from 1966 to 1967, eventually quitting due to her reviews being constantly altered by the editorial staff.
- When she first started working for The New Yorker, her brash style displeased many of its readers. But before long, she was being hailed as one of the nation’s top film critics.
- Her fourth book, 1973′s Deeper into Movies, was the first non-fiction book to win the prestigious National Book Award.
- Kael wanted to review the XXX film Deep Throat for The New Yorker, but her editor wouldn’t allow it.
- Kael accepted a position with Paramount Pictures in 1979 to serve as a consultant (thanks to Warren Beatty). A few months later, she went back to writing those famous Pauline Kael movie reviews that everyone knew and loved.
- She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in the early 1980s. Kael retired from writing movies in 1991.
- Kael passed away at her home in 2001, at the age of 82.
- A major supporter of the films of Walter Hill and Sam Peckinpah, Kael wasn’t nearly as fond of A Clockwork Orange or anything from George Lucas. In fact, Lucas named one of the major villains in Willow General Kael.
- She heaped praise on The Last Tango in Paris, giving it a major boost in popularity. The same goes for Nashville, MASH, and Z.
- While she often enjoyed movies filled with sex or violence, Kael was strongly opposed to those she felt has a right-wing agenda. An example of this would be Dirty Harry, which she called “a single-minded attack on liberal values.”
- She had so much influence on her fellow critics during screenings, that distributors instituted a policy of individual screenings for each critic.
- Screenwriter and director Paul Schrader (Taxi Driver, American Gigolo) was accepted into the graduate program of the UCLA Film School on the recommendation of Kael.
- Quentin Tarantino was a huge fan of Pauline Kael, saying that she was “as influential as any director was in helping me develop my aesthetic.”
If you’d like to read collections of the Pauline Kael movie reviews and assorted essays, be sure to check out her extensive list of writings:
- I Lost It at the Movies (1965)
- Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (1968)
- Going Steady (1969)
- Deeper into Movies (1973)
- Reeling (1976)
- When the Lights Go Down (1980)
- 5001 Nights at the Movies (1982)
- Taking It All In (1984)
- State of the Art (1987)
- Hooked (1989)
- Movie Love (1991)
- For Keeps (1994)
- Raising Kane, and other essays (1996)
And here’s a preview of what you might expect from Pauline Kael movie reviews, courtesy of a number of different sites across the Internet:
- A Clockwork Orange- Kael wasn’t pleased with what she viewed as the confusing morality of the film, and she goes into a detailed rant on the audience being desensitized to violence. Near the beginning of the review, she refers to the film as a “porno-violent sci-fi comedy.”
- Jaws – She claims that Jaws is funny in a Woody Allen way, citing Robert Shaw’s Quint and his dangerously masculine behavior. She also labels it “the most cheerfully perverse scare movie ever made.”
- Last Tango in Paris – Roger Ebert has referred to this as the most influential movie review ever made. Thanks to her praise, an unsuspecting nation turned out to watch Marlon Brando roll around in his birthday suit.
- Hairspray- Kael takes on John Waters, lending her approval to Hairspray by calling it an “entertainingly imbecilic musical comedy.” Now that’s what I call high praise.
- Raiders of the Lost Ark- Never much of a fan of anything involving George Lucas, Kael’s main problem with Raiders was the fast-paced opening sequence and the fact that everything that came afterwards felt like a letdown. “The effect of the obsessive pace is that the picture seems locked in. Our eyes never have a second just to linger on a face or on an image of planes coming out of the clouds. The frames fit into each other, dovetailing so tight that sometimes it seems as if the sheer technology had taken over. It’s all smart zap—a moviemaker’s self-reflexive feat.”
Ben Lyons Movie Reviews
January 2nd, 2011The next time you’re looking for some Ben Lyons movie reviews, keep in mind that you’re reading perhaps the most reviled movie critic in modern-day America. The son of film critic Jeffrey Lyons, Ben took over hosting At the Movies in 2008, the program made legendary by the team of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. Along with Ben Mankiewicz, the duo were supposed to revitalize the show and make it appealing to younger viewers. Instead, they generated a shitstorm due to Lyons’ perceived lack of cinematic knowledge and his habit of breaking his comments down into sound bites perfect for inclusion on Hollywood promotional material. Constantly posing for pictures with celebrities didn’t help things, either. Even the VP of the Chicago Film Critics Association weighed in, saying “His integrity’s out the window. He has no taste. Everyone thinks he’s a joke.” Not surprisingly, the pair were fired in 2009.
Born in 1981, Ben Lyons got started in the entertainment industry in 2002, when he created a production company to make segments for the show Hip-Hop Nation. Two years later, he got a gig with MTV co-hosting Your Movie Show. In another two years, he was covering film festivals and red carpet events for The Daily 10. During this time, he also started up a column for E! Online known as “The Lyons Den.” Other jobs have included Access Hollywood, Good Morning America, and Nickelodeon’s My Family’s Got GUTS. To further erode his credibility in the critical community, he’s appeared in two films: The House Bunny and Disaster Movie. Dude, if you’re going to sell out, and least do it with some quality projects.
Roger Ebert wasn’t exactly thrilled with Lyons being hired for At the Movies. In fact, he later wrote a column entitled “Roger’s Little Rule Book,” a look at the eroding ethical standards in film criticism. While he didn’t specifically name Lyons, he later admitted that the youthful critic was meant as the subject.
The LA Times also had something to say, roasting Lyons and his cozy relationship with studios and celebrities. Just click on this link to watch the integrity of Ben Lyons movie reviews get reamed out in every way imaginable.
Ben Lyons Movie Reviews – Quotes
If you head to his section on the E! website (known as the “Lyons Den”), you won’t find any Ben Lyons movie reviews. The same goes for his entry over at Rotten Tomatoes, as all his At the Movies reviews lead to dead links. But since I did promise you some examples of cinematic wisdom from Ben Lyons, I’ve put together of list of blurbs from At the Movies and other source. Does he possess a keen critical eye, or is he just a star-struck whore hoping to increase his own profile? Make your own decision.
Don’t Mess with the Zohan – “Completely original, this is Adam Sandler doing what he does best. Zohan is a classic comedy character that audiences will love for years to come. The most bankable comedic star in Hollywood strikes again.”
Gran Torino – “I don’t know if I could see any other older actor in this part.”
Stomp the Yard – “It’s a great film because it really switches gears, and it doesn’t leave the audience behind, which is very difficult for a film to do.”
Max Payne – “You know what hurts a movie like Max Payne is the success of the Batman franchise. That obviously is about story and character, so they think for all films of the genre it’s gotta be about story and character and this whole backstory of him losing his wife. I don’t care about that. I wanna see Max Payne shoot people. That’s all I want from a movie like this.”
Splinter – “I like Splinter too, I just don’t have the stomach for horror movies. Life is too short. I have to say rent it.”
Horton Hears a Who – “Horton is hilarious! Brilliant from top to bottom. Finally, Dr. Seuss as it was meant to be seen. The first movie to truly capture the magic of ‘The Seuss Imagination.’”
W. – “It’s really important to tell people to go out and see W. so they can talk about it and have an opinion about it and this freedom of speech of course that allows us to go and talk about a film about a current sitting president.”
Burn After Reading – “A hilarious comedy from an all-star ensemble cast! Smart, funny and original. Everything you want from the Coen Brothers.”
Battle In Seattle – “An all star cast that delivers one tremendous performance after another.”
Miracle at St. Anna – “One of the best films of 2008. A classic of epic and scope. Honest, powerful and inspiring, it’s one of Spike Lee’s best, and most important films.”
The Express – “More than just a movie about football. It’s an emotionally charged, inspiring story of a forgotten American hero.”
Boy, he sure likes the phrase “all-star cast,” doesn’t he?
So the next time you stray across any Ben Lyons movie reviews, keep the above information in mind. After all, do you really want to take the advice of someone who’s quickly become a pariah in the critical community?
Richard Corliss Movie Reviews
January 2nd, 2011Regular readers of TIME magazine are no doubt familiar with Richard Corliss movie reviews. That’s because he’s been working for the popular periodical since 1980 (becoming a senior writer in 1985). But there’s more to Mr. Corliss than just a quick wit and an eye for quality editing; he’s also written TIME articles on Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, pornography, yoga, the changing definition of beauty, and the MLB strike. For those of you new to Richard Corliss, I’ve included links to some of his reviews below. I’ve also written up a brief bio, listing his picks for the best yearly films from 1980 to 2010.
Richard Corliss Bio
The future titan of the critical community was born Richard Nelson Corliss in Philadelphia in 1944. He received his bachelor’s degree from Saint Joseph’s University, and then went to Columbia University to get his master’s degree in Film Studies. From 1966 to 1970, he wrote for National Review, and other writing gigs have included New Times, SoHo Weekly News, Maclean’s, Film Comment (he served as editor from 1970 to 1990), and TIME Asia.
In 1969, he married his wife, Mary, a former curator of the Film Stills Archive at the Museum of Modern Art. They currently live in New York City, horrified by the thought that King Kong might one day return.
He’s written three books during his career, as well as scores of Richard Corliss movie reviews. The books include:
- Talking Pictures (1985)
- Greta Garbo (1974)
- Lolita (2008)
A self-described liberal, Corliss was instrumental in helping draw attention to the important role the screenwriter plays in making films. In recent years, he’s complained that most film critics (himself included) are too snobbish when it comes to rating movies. He’s leveled criticism at the Academy Awards, as well, noting that their ratings have suffered recently due to a disconnect with the television viewing audience.
TIME is well-known for its list of the 100 greatest movies, and this was the brainchild of Corliss and Richard Schickel. In addition, Corliss came up with lists for the most important films on race, the 25 greatest villains, and the 25 best horror films. In 2001, he was given the honor of sitting on the jury for the AFI’s 100 greatest movies list.
Now before we get to the Richard Corliss movie reviews, let’s take a look at his picks for the best movies of the year, ranging from 1980 to 2010. If you’ll notice, an episode of The Simpsons won the top spot in 1992.
- 1980: Mon Oncle d’Amerique
- 1981: The Mystery of Oberwald
- 1982: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
- 1983: Berlin Alexanderplatz
- 1986: The Fly
- 1988: The Singing Detective
- 1989: Distant Voices, Still Lives
- 1990: L’Atalante (re-release)
- 1991: My Father’s Glory and My Mother’s Castle
- 1992: The Simpsons: Black Widower
- 1993: The Age of Innocence
- 1994: Pulp Fiction
- 1995: Persuasion
- 1997: Ponette
- 2001: Kandahar
- 2002: Talk to Her
- 2003: Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
- 2004: Hero and House of Flying Daggers
- 2005: The White Diamond
- 2006: Pan’s Labyrinth
- 2007: No Country For Old Men
- 2008: WALL-E
- 2009: The Princess and the Frog
- 2010: Toy Story 3
Richard Corliss Movie Reviews
- Platoon – “Much of Platoon is strong meat, indifferently prepared.” Corliss has more words of praise for this Oliver Stone classic, ultimately concluding that Platoon is a film that matters.
- Edge of Darkness – Mel Gibson goes looking for revenge after the death of his daughter, and Corliss examines both the film and Gibson’s slow descent into career purgatory.
- Alice in Wonderland- Corliss enjoyed the Tim Burton take on the Lewis Carroll books, noting “the visual palette is more artfully riotous than that of other Alice films, the performances more zestful.”
- Darkman – While mentioning that is desperately wants to be like Batman, Corliss knocks the acting but praises the film’s visual style.
- Clash of the Titans – While many critics crapped all over this remake, Corliss liked it, calling it a “full-throttle action-adventure.”
- Kick-Ass- “Kick-Ass kicks beaucoup d’ass, in some of the dandiest, most punishing stunt work this side of Hong Kong, but it forces the grownups in the audience to acknowledge that the action is as troubling as it is gorgeous.” Obviously, Corliss saw this summer movie as something far more than just another superhero flick.
- Get Him to the Greek- Mixed reviews for this Judd Apatow film, although Corliss obviously has a thing for suppository jokes.
- Spider-Man- If you want tons of action, Corliss suggests you skip this blockbuster superhero film and take the Universal Studios Florida ride, instead. “Raimi directs the film at Maguire’s pensive pace. Some scenes are just inert. Whole swatches of Spider-Man play like a $139 million indie film.”
- Easy A – While mentioning that Easy A tries way too hard to be cool, Corliss also gushes (like most other critics) over the performance by Emma Stone. It’ll be interesting to see if all these good reviews translate into an Oscar nomination for the redheaded actress.
Ty Burr Movie Reviews
January 1st, 2011I have a warning for all those searching for Ty Burr movie reviews: Be prepared to register with the Boston Globe website. That’s because the ‘ol BG–the publication Ty Burr has written for since 2002–requires you to register in order to view more than five articles. Now maybe I’m just being difficult, but I don’t like being forced to register to read Ty Burr movie reviews, even if the process is free. To make things a little less painful for you, I’ve included links to five of his articles below. And if you dig what Mr. Burr has to say, then prepare to give the Boston Globe some personal info in order to read further. You’ve been warned.
But before we get to the links for Ty Burr movie reviews, let’s take a look at the man himself. Burr (no relation to that madman, Aaron Burr) was born in 1957 and studied film at both New York University and Dartmouth College. He currently makes his home in the rough-and-tumble city of Newton, Massachusetts, where he lives with his adoring family.
In addition to the Boston Globe, Burr has served as a film critic for HBO, Entertainment Weekly, Spin, New York Times, and The Boston Phoenix. He also turns up on TV and radio from time to time, so don’t be surprised to see him when you click over to MSNBC or NECN.
A member of the National Society of Film Critics and the Boston Society of Film Critics, Ty Burr has also written three books on the subject of film. They are:
- The Hundred Greatest Movies of All Time
- The Hundred Greatest Stars of All Time
- The Best Old Movies for Families: A Guide to Watching Together
Ty Burr Movie Reviews
- Little Fockers(2010) – Burr starts his review of this Ben Stiller comedy by asking, “Is there a statute of limitations for how many good actors can be wasted in a bad movie?” That’s not a promising sign, and Burr takes the film to task for relying on too much gross-out humor and wasting co-star Laura Dern. He also mentions that Jessica Alba looks as though she needs to pee really bad in each scene. That’s obviously a whole different film, but one that I imagine would be a big hit on the Internet.
- The Tempest(2010) – Just because it’s based on a play by William Shakespeare doesn’t mean that The Tempestis going to get a free pass from Ty Burr. In fact, he seems to have a long-running problem with director Julie Taymor, so don’t expect this one to get too many kudos.
- Faster (2010) – While he’s glad that The Rock is finally back to kicking ass, Burr also notes that this film could be called The Good, the Bad, and the Metrosexual thanks to the presence of a billionaire assassin played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen. The level of action and seeming nod to films of the 1970s draws praise, as does Billy Bob Thornton’s redemption-seeking cop.
- Morning Glory(2010) – This Rachel McAdams/Harrison Ford rom-com gets fair marks for its breezy approach, but Burr notes that the whole thing self-destructs in the final act. He’s also unhappy with the inclusion of the Patrick Wilson character, only thrown in as a romantic interest because of the great gulf in years between Ford and McAdams. But he loves the man formerly known as Han Solo, writing that “Ford gives a character performance that is positively inspired.”
- Catfish (2010) – Many critics and fans have argued whether Catfish is a real documentary or simply posing as one. Burr writes that “as engrossing as Catfish is, then, it feels wholly disingenuous–not life observed but life tidied up and told.” He does, however, end the review with “Catfish demands to be seen,” so you can still consider this a positive recommendation.
Well, those are all the Ty Burr movie reviews that I could snag without having to tell the people at the Boston Globe my blood type and driver’s license number. Even a trip to the movie reviews section of Rotten Tomatoes will lead you back to the Globe and their registration-obsessed minions. But at least you’ll have these five to keep you warm on a cold winter’s night.
Joe Bob Briggs Movie Reviews
January 1st, 2011If you’re looking for some Joe Bob Briggs movie reviews, then you’re undoubtedly a fan of B-movies and drive-in cinema. That’s because the native Texan with the bolo tie and cowboy boots revels in reviewing some of the most atrocious trash to ever come down the cinematic pipeline. But no matter how bad the movies may be, Joe Bob still has a way of making them sound appealing (especially when he gives bonus points for naked breasts and a high body count).
Born in Dallas and raised in Little Rock, Arkansas, Joe Bob (born John Irving Bloom) attended college on a sportswriting scholarship and soon landed gigs at both the Dallas Times Herald and Texas Monthly. It was during this time that he created his outrageous alter-ego and started thrilling fans with tales of drive-in movies and assorted kinds of “fu.” Unfortunately, Joe Bob lost his job with the Dallas Times Herald in 1985 after poking fun of the American Negro College Fund and starving kiddies on the African continent. These days, Joe Bob is still going strong; the Times Herald is out of business? Coincidence? I think not.
He bounced back in 1986 by taking over as host of Drive-In Theater on The Movie Channel. It ran for just under ten years, and it was the network’s highest-rated show for much of that time. When The Movie Channel underwent a format change and dumped him, Joe Bob quickly popped up on TNT four months later. For the next four years, he would serve as the host of their movie presentation known as Monstervision. During this time, he was also active as a writer, sharing his cornfed wit and wisdom with anyone who had learned to read.
If you’re into Joe Bob Briggs movie reviews, you can catch collections of his work in the following books:
- Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-in (1986)
- A Guide to Western Civilization, or: My Story (1988)
- Joe Bob Goes Back to the Drive-in (1990)
- The Cosmic Wisdom of Joe Bob Briggs (1990)
- Iron Joe Bob (1992)
- Profoundly Disturbing: Shocking Movies that Changed History! (2003)
- Profoundly Erotic: Sexy Movies that Changed History (2005)
And in addition to providing commentary tracks for DVD releases such as I Spit On Your Grave, Samurai Cop, and The Double-D Avenger, Joe Bob has also demonstrated his acting talents in the following films:
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (scene deleted)
- Great Balls of Fire!
- Casino
- Face/Off
- The Storytellers
- All That You Love Will Be Carried Away
- Evil Ever After
- Ghosts of Goldfield
- Hogzilla
- Rapturious
- Wretched
But you’re here for some Joe Bob Briggs movie reviews, right? Well, your prayers have been answered.
- I Spit on Your Grave (1978) – Joe Bob heaps a ton of praise on the controversial revenge flick from the 1970s. He also addresses some comments from Roger Ebert about the movie, leading one to wonder what ‘ol Rog does down in his basement in the middle of the night.
- Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer(1986) – A disturbing film based on the life of mass murderer Henry Lee Lucas. Joe Bob loves it, of course, noting that Henry is far scarier than any other movie psycho he’s ever seen. He also praises the “camcorder fu” and the “Coke bottle fu.”
- Hitman(1991) – Chuck Norris as a cop who comes back from the dead to pose as a hitman and clean up the vile criminal underworld of…Seattle. According to Joe Bob, “Chuck is rooting around with a sawed-off shotgun, turning all the drug lords against one another, aardvarking with the Mafia boss’s girlfriend, spitting in an Arab punk’s food, and, of course, befriending a small black child.” By the way, “aardvarking” is JB’s term for having sex.
- Frozen (2010) – Joe Bob takes a look at a film about three idiotic ski fans who get themselves stranded on a lift while a winter storm rolls in and hungry wolves prowl below.
- Hard Target(1993) – The beginning of the review starts with a lengthy (and damn funny) sermon from Joe Bob on the so-called decline of religion in America. He then somehow seamlessly transitions into discussing a Jean-Claude Van Damme film. Now that’s what I call fine writing.
- Piranha 3D (2010) – High praise is in store for Piranha 3D, an over-the-top flick about ravenous fish chowing down on Spring Break knuckleheads. Joe Bob loves it, of course, praising Christopher Lloyd for “chewing the scenery as much as the piranha.”
- Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend (1992) – Our drive-in buddy starts by giving us ten tips to consider when getting a hooker. He then reviews a film about a fat security guard who goes on a hooker spree. It’s a match made in heaven.
- The Crazies(2010) – They remade a George Romero classic, so naturally Joe Bob has to review it. He opens with “You know what I hate? You’re out at the high school ball field, wondering what near-cheese product they squirt on the nachos, watching the jocks play the first game of the season, and up walks some berserkoid with a gun. Ruins the whole game for everyone, not to mention the nachos.” It only gets better from there.
- Class of 1999 (1990) – Joe Bob sings the praises of the dreaded “testicular self-examination,” and then veers into a review of the sequel to Class of 1984. The man’s got a way with the segue, you have to give him that.
- Collision Course(1989) – Jay Leno stars as a smartass Detroit cop who teams up with a Tokyo cop played by Pat Morita (that’s Mr. Miyagi to you). Joe Bob especially liked the last 30 minutes of the film, where high speed chases rule, and a goon named Scully gets a chance to strut his stuff.
Just click on the links above to enjoy all these Joe Bob Briggs movie reviews. Or, if you’d like to read even more (or possibly buy some stuff), head to his official site for a deluxe helping of B-movie goodness. Drive-ins may be a thing of the past, but their spirit is still alive and well.