Just Go with It (2011)

There’s nothing wrong with mediocrity in the movies. If it didn’t exist, how else could we discern between masterpieces and the dregs of the motion picture industry? No, we need mediocrity like a map needs to indicate north; it gives the viewer a point of reference on that post-credits walk to their car (when most people lock in their opinion of a film). Case in point: Just Go with It, a loose adaptation of 1969′s Cactus Flower and the latest rom-com from funnyman Adam Sandler. It’s just what it aspires to be: a cash cow with two big-time leads, a couple of cute kids, a hot blonde, a scenic Hawaiian backdrop, and not much else.

To indicate the sheer cookie-cutter nature of Just Go with It, let’s play a game. I’ll give a brief description of the film’s premise, pausing occasionally to provide you with a series of multiple choice answers. If you get them right, continue to read on. If you slip up or get confused, penalize yourself by going back and watching at least ten romantic comedies released since Pretty Woman.

Adam Sandler is Danny Maccabee, a Jewish guy and medical student with a comically oversized nose. On the day of his wedding, he overhears his soon-to-be-wife making fun of him and admitting to infidelity, so he goes to a bar to drown his sorrows. While there, he manages to pick up a hottie who’s drawn to his pitiful tale of marital woes (which Danny embellishes more than a little). As the years pass, Danny becomes a plastic surgeon, gets rid of his massive schnoz, and uses the power of the wedding ring to:

(a) Gain a deeper understanding of the female gender.
(b) Teach women that they shouldn’t trust men they meet in bars and single’s clubs.
(c) Sleep with any gullible young babe who’ll fall for his lies.

Danny, by the way, has a cousin named Eddie Simms (Nick Swardson of Reno 911!). Eddie is:

(a) Superior to Danny in every way, especially when it comes to looks and personality.
(b) A globetrotting philanthropist who loves to help children in impoverished nations.
(c) A lovable goof who constantly strikes out with women and often drives Danny up the wall with his antics.

When the cousins attend a party held by a walking plastic surgery disaster named Adon (Kevin Nealon), Danny meets Palmer Dodge (Brooklyn Decker), a blonde beauty who’s a twenty-three-year old school teacher and major fan of *NSYNC. Their bond is almost instantaneous, and after a night together on the beach, Danny thinks he may have finally met “the one.” But Palmer discovers the wedding ring that Danny carries around for his seduction schemes, and our protagonist, too embarrassed to tell her the truth, lies and says that he’s in the process of getting a divorce. Naturally, Palmer wants to meet the future ex, so Danny is forced to:

(a) Tell Palmer the truth and risk losing her forever.
(b) Bribe an elderly Korean neighbor to pose as his wife.
(c) Cajole his pretty office manager, Katherine Murphy (Jennifer Aniston), into taking part in the ruse.

And just in case you’re wondering, Katherine is a single mom with two kids who are:

(a) Confined to a mental institution for the brutal murder of their babysitter.
(b) Quiet and sullen, rarely speaking unless spoken to.
(c) Cute and precocious. The daughter (Bailee Madison) wants to be an actress and uses an annoying British accent much of the time, while the boy (Griffin Gluck) dreams of traveling to Hawaii and swimming with the dolphins.

Thanks to a slip-up during the meeting, Katherine’s kids are soon drawn into the lie, and the youngest Murphy child uses the opportunity to force Danny into taking him to Hawaii to see those aforementioned dolphins. So the whole gang, including cousin Eddie (posing as a bespectacled sheep expert named Dolph Lundgren), heads to the tropical paradise to help perpetuate Danny‘s fib. As the deceptions become more complex and the laughs more generic, Danny soon comes to realize that:

(a) He’s actually gay.
(b) He’s the son of Satan (played by Harvey Keitel).
(c) He may be in love with the wrong woman.

I won’t spoil the rest of the film, but it should be pretty obvious what happens next. There’s also a half-hearted subplot involving Nicole Kidman as a former college rival of Katherine who happens to be vacationing with her husband (Dave Matthews), the supposed inventor of the iPod. In a film about a plastic surgeon, Kidman is oddly the only member of the cast who obviously looks to have had some work done. She still looks great in her hula showdown with Aniston, though.

Sandler falls back on his usual role as the slightly grouchy clown with a heart of gold. He gets in a few quality zingers, but those are negated by the multiple scenes where he or his cousin get struck in the family jewels. It’s just one example of the laziness of the Allan Loeb/Timothy Dowling screenplay, although they do manage to create a few moments of passable romantic tension between the two leads. The likable chemistry between Aniston and Sandler doesn’t hurt, either. I could buy them as a couple in a more ambitious production, but that’s not this film by any stretch of the imagination.

For her debut movie role, Brooklyn Decker doesn’t embarrass herself. While she frequently struggles to keep from being upstaged by her breasts, she does show the ability to smile on cue and pull off a sweet naiveté. With some additional experience under her belt, the wife of Andy Roddick (who makes a cameo looking a lot like Seann William Scott) could have a decent career in the world of the rom-com. Jessica Simpson, your film career is officially over.

I’d like to say that Just Go with It could’ve been better if the filmmakers would have aimed higher, but who am I kidding? The frequent clichés and shots to the testicles are proof positive that this project was regarded as a business investment from the very beginning–nothing more and nothing less. Just sign Adam Sandler, slap together a supporting cast with a few recognizable names and pretty faces, and surround them with a plot (any plot) that provides a few laughs and moments of romance. If the formula works–and it usually does–all that’s left to do is sit back and watch the money roll in like so much grease on the wheels of the Hollywood machine. After all, there’s nothing mediocre about millions of dollars.